Changing Who We Are to Please Others

 It is a beautiful day in the Rocky Mountains, and I thought that I would allow my inner voice take the conversation in their direction. My questions will be in italics and my inner voice will be in normal print.

  We appreciate the opportunity to speak directly to those that are seeking true and loving guidance. In this conversation we would like to speak about how people change their behavior to please those around them. This is a powerful subject which has many implications for a persons true happiness.

From an early age people have been taught that their behavior can be changed to please others. On the surface this may appear to be a desirable place to exist, yet it is here where the separation between them in the physical and their true selves begins. As a person moves through their life from a young child to a young adult, there are many situations where they desire the approval of their peers. Through this desire for approval they will move away from their true selves to an emotional place where they behave in a way that may cause discomfort within them. This discomfort is the separation between their true selves and their new behavior. Though this discomfort is felt within them, their belief is that this is how life is for them at this age.

  How does this behavior become the way in which a person lives their life?
  As they seek the approval of those around them, they begin to experience a level of self worth. Though this is not their true worth to themselves, this is the way in which they begin to see themselves. This is then the way in which they go through their day, showing to the world someone that is not truly who they are, yet this persona makes those around them pleased with them.

 So people ignore who they truly are, to create a persona of what will make others happy with them?This persona is not a true repression of who they are though?
 The desire to be liked by others is a very powerful desire, which can cause a person to deny their truth and true happiness. It is important to realize that this behavior is taught to children and young adults. Unknown to them because of their young age, is that their true selves have been replaced by a desire to please others. When this person becomes an adult they have been living their persona for so many years that they are unsure who they truly are. They may seek their truth but this can be challenging because the people within their lives want them to stay as they know them. This challenge may keep a person from ever experiencing who they are and what truly makes them happy.

 A persons desire to please other people can be so powerful that they can live their entire life without knowing who they truly are? 
 Yes, and this is a powerful reason why people live lives that are unfulfilling. They do not know what their true happiness feels like because they have been focused on maintaining the happiness of others. One of the reasons that marriages fail is because people are not focused on finding their true selves or their true happiness before they form a union with another person. Their intention is that the other person will supply them with the happiness they need for a successful life experience.

 Your advice would be to explore who we truly are without worrying if others like us, then from this place live our truth?
 Yes that is our advice. Remember that once a person begins to live their truth, their lives will unfold as they should, with truly loving people coming into their lives that do not desire them to change.


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