Controlling Our Emotions
I have been editing my first book recently when I realized that much of the uncertainty within my past was my doing and not that of those I blamed. Though this may sound like something that is obvious, it is, but I finally heard and understood this belief on a much deeper, emotional level. With this new awareness, I thought I would speak with my Inner Voice about this, obvious topic.
My questions will be in italics and the answers from my Inner Voice will be in normal print.
I'm not sure where to begin with this conversation.
People feel that life happens to them and their emotions are reactions to life. In some cases this is true, you are thrilled when you get a promotion at work or excited when you find out you will become a new parent in nine months. What few people realize is their emotions create the life experience they are living. Let us give a few examples, you are late for work, rushing to get out the door, you spill coffee on your shirt, from here your day can go one of two ways. The first could be, you suddenly experience a rush of anger and from here the rest of the day is filled with frustration, anger and bitterness. The other option, is to accept that spilling coffee on your shirt is an accident, and attempt to stay in a positive frame of mind. In this new positive place, the negative experience of spilling coffee becomes a small thing that happened without much disturbance of your day. This positive attitude will carry you through the day without effecting you or the people that you encounter.
The reason for these examples is for you to examine which one of these attitudes were you living when you experienced your uncertainty? Were you in control of your emotions as in the second example, or did you allow the situation to runaway with your emotions, thus losing your ability to maintain a positive place of center and focus?
At the time I hadn't realized that I can control the situation by how I react emotionally, that's why I blamed others for my situation. Could you explain how we can control our emotions for a better outcome?
At first controlling your emotions is a split second decision, shortly after you spilled coffee on your shirt you had a choice as to how you would react. This single decision set the tone for the rest of your day, from there your day unfolded with the attitude of that split second decision. When you realize that in that split second decision you can chart the course of your day, you will become more aware of the decisions you make when things don't go as planned. Through a comparison between your decisions and the outcome of your day, you will begin to see if you are in control of your life, thus allowing life to unfold for you in positive ways.
How does this correspond with blaming life for our current situation?
When a person blames life for their situation, they are allowing life to control their emotions, similar to blaming the coffee for your rough day at work. Accepting control over your emotions will prevent you from blaming those around you for your negative attitude. Even if you encounter a situation you have no physical control over, you can control your attitude towards it.
So, my attitude is the driving factor of how I experience life? Again it sounds too simple.
Yes, of course. The uncertainty you spoke of, was a result of allowing your emotions to be reactions to your life situations. Then placing blame on these situations for your life experienced . An inconsistent control of your emotions will produce an inconsistent life experience. Please realize, when we say control your emotions, we are saying, to become aware of what you are about to express before you express it. This moment of hesitation can and will effect the outcome of your of action.
We are back to, I can't control the world around me, but I can control my reactions too it!
Yes, this is the basis of a well balanced, focused, life experience.
Copyright Paul Hudon 2018