Giving Without Expectation
As pictures of people wrestling TV's and children toys from each others hands appear on the news, I am wondering how the holiday season came to this. What is the driving force behind harming another person to take away a gift that is intended to be given to someone else with love? I thought that this is an excellent subject to discuss with my Inner Voice.
My questions will be in italics and the answers from my Inner Voice will be in normal print.
Why do some people behave this way around the holiday season?
People behave this way for many reasons, but the root of their behavior is deep within them. They believe that if they give the perfect gift they will please the intended recipient and love will be returned to them for the gift. This love will fill a void within them, and their self-worth and self-esteem will be raised because of their actions.
Are you saying that people give these gifts more for themselves than for the intended recipient?
Many gifts are given with an expectation of something in return, a thank you, another gift and of course, love. But the true meaning of giving a gift is the joy of the giving, and not the intended reward. If there is an expectation of a reciprocal gift and one is not given, then there can be a question if the gift was suitable for the recipient. Many questions follow if a gift is given without a reward, physical or emotional.
Earlier you spoke of giving a gift as a way to fill a void within a person. Can you explain this?
Within each person there is a never ending stream of love. When this love is blocked or unknown, a person will feel that there is something missing within their life; they are missing this tremendous love. To fill the gap in their life they seek to feel love and appreciation from those around them. By giving a gift to another person, they may expect to feel love in return, which will temporally fill their inner void. Again, if no appreciation is returned for the gift, they will second guess themselves and vow to give a bigger, more extravagant gift in the future. The gift becomes their measure of their love for this person, but the gift also becomes a way in which they measure their self worth.
That is a lot of baggage connected with giving a gift.
Yes, there is baggage associated with the gift. If the intention is to give the gift without any expectation of a reward, then the gift is given out of true love.
How does that work: giving a gift without an expected reward?
When a person discovers their inner love, they realize that no other person can match this level of love. This is not an ego love but a true, honest love that can only be found deep within a person. This love does not need validation from others, this love cannot be measured by the size of the gift that is being given. The giving of the gift is an act of love, love for the recipient, and self-love for the giver of the gift. If a thank you for the gift is not expressed, this reflects on the recipient and not the giver of the gift. As people have said in the past, it is the giving that is important, this is true, but it is when people add an expectation where the gift becomes more than a gift.
The intention is to give a gift from the powerful love that is within us without expectation of a reward. Then through the powerful love that we have discovered within us, we do not have to give gifts that measure our self-worth?
Your self-worth will not need to be bolstered through the size of the gift. The love behind the gift will be more powerful than the gift itself. It is through the powerful intention of love that a gift will have lasting meaning for the recipient. The best gift that you can give anyone is the gift of the never-ending love that can only be found within you, then true love will be experienced through the holiday season without the need to wrestle a TV from the hands of someone else.
Copyright Paul Hudon 2018