Experiencing Life Through Our Patterns

 I have been thinking of how we live and grow through patterns. Maybe we sacrifice our happiness for others, only to not feel the love that we were seeking, though we continue to behave this way. Or maybe we constantly ignore that gut feeling because it may inconvenience those around us. In either case we are not following what is truly right for us and we may be living through a pattern of self-sacrifice or personal denial. It becomes uncomfortable when I think that I have lived and experienced life through patterns. I thought that I could explore this subject in greater depth with my Inner Voice. My questions will be in italics and the answers from my Inner Voice will be in normal print.

 How do people live life through patterns?
 Many people have been taught to seek love outside of themselves, seeking love from those around them to validate their self-worth. If this love is not received people will try to do more or sacrifice more for those around them in an attempt to receive a feeling of love. Again if no love is expressed, the cycle continues to a point that it can become a pattern of life, which would be to constantly seek love from others by attempting to satisfy their needs.

 It's a pattern if we are seeking love from those around us?
 It becomes a pattern if people continue to sacrifice aspects of their lives with the expectation of love as the reward. The pattern is the desire to be liked or love by others to a point where sacrifices are made. But this is not the only time people will develop a pattern.
 In every situation in a person's life there is an opportunity to learn important lessons. If the lesson is not learned then the situation will reappear as a pattern in a person's  life. A pattern of constantly seeking love and admiration from other people can hold some powerful lessons, one may be to learn to separate oneself from the desire to please others and begin to discover the love that is within oneself. If the lesson is not learned, life will continue this way until a change is made.

 You have said that there are lessons in our patterns, would you explain this further.
 Oftentimes these patterns can be as straightforward as not speaking up for oneself in social situations or as powerful as choosing the same type of partner over and over again without much lasting success, in either case there will be lessons in each experience. To break the cycle of pattern, one must examine the situation and discover the lesson. Once the lesson is learned, and incorporated into ones life, the pattern of behavior can be realized and positive changes can be made.

 I had a pattern that I have had to work through and I hope that I have learned the lessons. Will the situation arise again in my life?
 As long as you maintain your awareness of the reason for the pattern. If your pattern was to sacrifice your happiness for the benefit of others, then in the future, become aware if you find yourself in a similar situation. There needs to be an awareness of the pattern and the lessons from the pattern. Only then can changes be made for a better life experience.

 Why do we develop these patterns? 
 Patterns develop out of a need to be accepted by others, to boost self-esteem, and self-worth. The basis of these patterns is to feel love that has not yet been felt or discovered within oneself. The pattern is the seeking of love, and the outcome is the lesson. The outcome of the situation will reveal the reason for the pattern.

 If I am seeking love from another person and I don't receive this love, then I can look and explore why I am seeking love from someone else other than myself?
Yes, you can, if you are willing to honestly look and search for the lesson and then grow from the experience. The reason that we use the word "honestly" is because many people will blame those around them for their unhappiness. This belief will keep the pattern active in ones consciousness and no true growth will result. To dismantle the pattern one must find the lesson and then grow and live a better self-loving life because of the lesson.


What do you think? Can you look back through your life and see old patterns that keep repeating themselves in your life? Or have you seen the pattern and disarmed it by learning the lesson and moving forward? Let me know what you think, or if this conversation has helped you see the patterns in your life.

Copyright Paul Hudon 2019


Popular Posts