The Choices We Don't Make
I once heard that if we don't make a choice, someone else will make it for us. Powerful words to be sure, but do we really allow others to make choices for us if we can't make up our own mind? I thought that a conversation with my Inner Voice would be helpful in sifting through this subject. My questions will be in italics and the answers from my Inner Voice will be in normal print.
Would you explain how we allow others to make choices for us?
Most people make many choices for themselves without much though. They know most of the time what is right for them, and then they go forward in that direction. But there are also times when people feel that they have no choice and this is where others will make the choice for them. Allowing someone else to make a decision for you, is allowing someone else to control the outcome of your life.
Allowing someone else to control the outcome of our lives is a powerful statement. Would you explain further?
In every action in a person's life there is a choice to be made. Yes or no, left or right, go or stay? On and on it may go. Few people realize that once they allow someone else to make these choices for them then someone else will continue to make these choices. They have given their ability to control the outcome of their life over to another. Even the giving up of the simplest of choices can have a powerful affect on the outcome of a person's life.
I have read that the word "No" is the most powerful word in any language. Is this part of this conversation?
Oftentimes people will not say no because they do not want to disappoint those around them. In doing so, they sacrifice themselves to please others. In doing so, they are making a choice to disregard what they know is right for them. They are saying yes to a choice that would make them more comfortable had they said no. In a way they make a choice to please others and disregard what they truly want.
Yes, but sometimes making a choice that goes against what those around us want can be challenging, and it can cause tremendous discomfort within the relationship. What then?
Is the intention to sacrifice a part of your life to please those around you? Or is the intention to stay true to yourself, and speak your truth by making the choices that are truly right for you? It must be realized that if you cannot speak your truth in your relationship, then it may be time to move on and seek better relationships. No true, loving relationship has ever been built on sacrificing any part of your life to please those in the relationship.
When someone else makes the choices for us, we are sacrificing ourselves for their happiness?
Yes, you would rather not make a choice than upset others by making a choice that is true and right for you.
We are not making choices, important or not, because we do not want to anger those around us?
It becomes easier to leave the decisions to others, than it is to challenge them by making a choice that you know is truly right for you, but will anger them.
What kind of life will we have when we allow others to make our choices?
It will be a life that is ruled by others and it will also be a life of self-sacrifice. The reasons will be to maintain the happiness of those around you.
What would be the takeaway from this post?
It is important to learn to speak your truth in any situation or relationship. This way everyone involved knows that you will not sacrifice your dreams, or happiness to please them. Also you will begin to have strength and courage when it comes to making choices that do not mesh with others. Speaking your truth is expressing what is right for you, no matter what the outcome may be. Yes, this takes courage, but this is expressing who you truly are, and there is no greater gift that you can give yourself than speaking your truth.
Have you been in situations where you made a choice that went against your truth, with the intention of pleasing others? If you have a comment or a question, please feel free to reach out to me. firstname.lastname@example.org
Thanks for taking the time to read this post.
Copyright Paul Hudon 2019