Relationships and Self-Love

Relationships and self-love, how do they relate to each other? Could we have a healthy relationship while seeking our own self-love? Is it selfish to search for our self-love before we commit to a loving relationship? What would be the consequences of a self-loving life within a relationship? With these questions and a few more in mind, I felt it would be best to speak with my Inner Voice about this important subject.

 Self-love sounds selfish, if so, then why should I seek it within my life?

The definition of selfishness most people use is outdated when it comes to any matters related to creating a better life through seeking self-love. Self-love is an emotional state of being that can only be realized through a selfish act of self-discovery. No other person can substitute their love for your true self-love, it can only come from within you. When a person begins to experience their self-love, their negative self-talk and the opinions of other people fall by the wayside. Why? Because now the strength of their self-love is all this person needs to maintain their self-worth and realize their inner truth. The journey to discover a persons true self-love is a selfish act of love.

 How can selfishness work in a relationship? This concept seems to go against conventional wisdom.

When a person selfishly accepts that their true happiness will be found alongside their self-love, then this person will be ready for a loving relationship. In this powerful state of being, this person will not feel the need to sacrifice any part of their desires to please their partner. Nor will their partner have the need to sacrifice their true desires to please them. Consider self-love as the understanding and knowledge of who you truly are, not what others have told you about you. If conventional wisdom suggests sacrificing your true desires for the happiness of those within your life, then conventional wisdom is off course on this subject.

How does this fit in with relationships?

When a person discovers their self-love they release their partner and those around them from  constantly having to support them emotionally. Yes, they may experience the turbulence of life, but they will be grounded and centered through their self-love. This will allow them to withstand whatever life offers them as they stay strong in their love for themselves, and centered in their relationship. 

What happens to our relationships when we discover our self-love?

Discovering self-love, causes a understanding that the true joy and happiness people are seeking will be found within them. Through this powerful realization they can now support their partner as their partner seeks their self-love as well. Now, imagine two people living together experiencing their self-love while supporting each other through unconditional love.  

What about relationships that flourish even though there is little knowledge of self-love?

The true potential of a person or a couple will be found through the discovery of their self-love. In relationships that flourish without knowledge of self-love, there must be an accepted, loving desire that both people are working towards. Remember, a person’s true potential is rooted in self-love and from there they will enjoy the benefits of living life through this love. For a couple to live their best life, and have a truly successful relationship, they must discover their self-love.

What happens when both people in a relationship are experiencing their true self-love?

The potential for the relationship will be unlimited, as both people speak and live their truth, through their self-love. Every day will be greeted as a new chance to improve who they are as individuals, and as a couple as well. When both people in a relationship are enjoying their self-love, there is no need to sacrifice any part of who they truly are, to please the other, thus living their lives with truth, love, and honesty.


This is always a powerful subject for me, learning to experience our self-love and still maintain our relationships. If you have any questions or comments please let me know, I'm always open to expanding the conversation.

If you are interested in receiving a weekly conversation with my Inner Voice, let me know and I'll add your name to the list.

Peace and Well-Being, Paul

Copyright 2019 Paul Hudon


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