Expecting an Apology
Today is one of those days that I don't have a topic in mind, so I relax and allow my Inner Voice to start the conversation. If I have a question, I will write in italics and the answers from my Inner Voice will be in normal print.
Each person has within them the ability to free themselves from the issues that hold them in a place of discomfort. Their ability to release themselves from certain burdens originates from a place of forgiveness. Though these may seem unrelated, trust that they are.
Forgiveness is a powerful way to cleanse the heart and mind of unwanted stresses and burdens. Forgiveness is also an act of love, love for oneself, and love for others. The act of forgiveness is a way to begin anew with those in your life. In a true act of forgiveness there is no expectation of an apology from those that hurt or harmed you. This is an act of pure selfishness, selfishness to release any guilt or shame, selfishness to move forward away from the past, and selfishness to love oneself once again.
It must be realized that anyone can mouth the words of forgiveness, yet this will not bring them any true closure to the situation. For forgiveness to have a true effect, one must be honest in their responsibility, honest with truly wanting to move forward, and truly forgiving themselves and those that caused their discomfort. You cannot forgive from the heart as you continue to speak harshly of yourself, or those that hurt you.
Imagine forgiveness as releasing the situation to the wind like fallen leaves. Once the act is removed from your awareness, the wind sweeps it away, never to be experienced again. To forgive is to love, without condition or expectation.
Why do we always expect an apology from those that harmed us?
The expectation is that they will see how their behavior has hurt you, and through this awareness they will be truly sorry, thus a sincere apology is expressed. What oftentimes happens is that they do not realize their offense and they are unaware of their need for an apology. The act of forgiveness comes from the one that was harmed. This releases the offender from one’s consciousness, and allows one to move forward to a stronger emotional resolution.
Remember, the expectation of an apology will keep you in a state of limbo. Meaning, the memory of the offense is still within your awareness and energy is fed to the offense while an apology is expected. This keeps the offense activated within your consciousness. A true act of forgiveness is an act to release the memory of the offender, and the offense, from controlling your emotions when you think of the event.
Could I control the outcome of a negative situation by forgiveness?
You have the choice to hold the situation within your consciousness by expecting an apology, or you can release it from your awareness through an act of true forgiveness. The questions are ones that only you can answer: do you want to allow the situation to rule over your happiness, or do you want to free yourself from the situation, and move on with your life, leaving the offense in your past? The answer will be based on how much you truly love yourself.
The answer will be based on how much I truly love myself. Would you explain that.
When a person is living life through their self-love, they realize that their happiness is their responsibility and not that of those around them. To truly forgive is an act of seeking a better feeling emotional place within their life. A self-loving person will not allow their happiness to hinge on whether a person apologizes or not. They take control of their life by being responsible for their true happiness.
So, this has nothing to do with the person that caused the pain?
The person that caused the pain oftentimes does not have the awareness of their behavior causing pain. To expect an apology from this person may be unrealistic. The best thing that can be done is to forgive with truth and honesty, and move forward without the burden of the offense in your consciousness.
Yes, but I have to get to a place where I can truly forgive and move on.
Yes, you have to get to an emotional place where you love yourself enough to accept that your happiness is your responsibility, and that your happiness will not be found in the apology of another.
This is always a powerful subject for me, and I hope that this adds clarity on any situation that may need forgiveness in your life.
If you have a comment or if you would like to subscribe to my weekly email conversation with my Inner Voice, email me at, firstname.lastname@example.org
You can read more of my conversations with my Inner Voice, by checking out New Spirit Journal where I write a monthly column. This month in my article is titled "Finding Comfort in Fear," in it we discuss how we can find comfort in our fears. newspiritjournalonline.com
I also write for Conscious Shift Magazine. This month my article titled, "A Single Drop of Rain," talks about how when we band together we can initiate the positive changes that we would like to see in the world around us. consciousshiftmagazine.com
I am very fortunate to have an article in The Sedona Journal of Emergence this month titled, "Love Will Propel You Forward," here we discuss how love can help us reach higher levels of consciousness. Check it out at newsstands or at, Sedonajournal.com
I appreciate that you have taken the time to read my writings, and I hope that you find them beneficial. From the bottom of my heart, thank you very much.
Peace an Well-Being,
Copyright Paul Hudon 2019