Here we are in the middle of the holiday season, much to be grateful for, although so much to consider as well. I have been contemplating obligation recently. How often do we do things for others out of obligation and not a feeling of honesty and love? Have you traveled or bought gifts this season out of obligation towards a friend or family member? Or, are you centered in a place of true love, and this season flows smoothly for you?
The subject of obligation is not limited to the Holiday season alone. Yet, this season appears to amplify the behavior of obligation. As you would imagine, I will seek the wisdom from my Inner
Voice on this topic. My questions will be in italics for clarity.
I often think of the times when I behaved out of obligation and not out of love. Why is obligation such a powerful source of influence?
Obligation is a powerful choice that is not rooted in love. In truth, obligation is a search for love and acceptance from others. Imagine obligation as a way to express affection towards others with the intention of receiving love in return. This would make obligation an act of expectation—expecting a show of love for a deed done through a lack of self-love.
Would you explain an act of expectation?
In any act or behavior that is not rooted in self-love, there will be a desire to please those around you as a way to feel a level of love within yourself. This love is expressed by others, and does not originate from within yourself. The expectation is that if you behave out of obligation you will feel this love being returned to you because of your obligation.
Basically, we act out of obligation as a way to feel love from those around us. Yet, this does not create a feeling of love within ourselves?
Often there is no discomfort within the obligation. It is only when discomfort is felt will there be an understanding of the obligation as a way to seek the approval of others. When you accept that love is the basis of who you are, this love will radiate out to the world around you. While in this powerful awareness of love, doing anything out of obligation does not register within your consciousness. You do things out of love, there is no expectation of love being returned to you as a reward for your acts of kindness.
Do obligations and expectations go hand in hand?
If there is an expectation of a reward from an obligation then they do go hand in hand. Yet, if you are living a life of love, speaking your truth, there will never be a feeling of obligation, or expectation. Remember, if you see aspects of your life as an obligation, recognize that there is no true love in this behavior. You will be acting this way as a means to feel love that will be returned to you through your behavior. Many times an obligation has an expectation connected to it. The expectation is the feeling of love from those that you feel obligated to.
Here we are in the middle of the Holiday Season, now what?
The Holiday Season can be a time where many people feel obliged to behave in certain ways. The expectation is that they will feel love in return for their actions. The issue with this behavior is that there is little true, self-love being experienced. This places the need for this love within the expectation. Imagine changing your focus to discovering the eternal love that is within you, thus releasing your need for experiencing love as a reward.
You now know of the never-ending love that is within you. You accept this love, then you share this love freely, without the feeling of obligation or the expectation of a reward.
Yes, but the Holiday Season is filled with expectations. How do we handle this?
There must be an awareness of the fact that often you allow the expectations of others to upset you. These are their expectations to deal with, not yours. If you behave in a way that supports the expectations of others, yet this behavior does not bring you a sense of inner joy and peace, then you are acting out of obligation.
The only way to release the sense of obligation along with the expectation that often goes with obligation, is to live through your own powerful self-love. Then from this place of love you can now make the decisions that are rooted in love, a love for those around you as well as a love for yourself. This will release the feeling of obligation from your consciousness.
I know from my own experience, that in the past I have behaved out of obligation. Now I realize that there was no love in this behavior. Do you see this behavior within your life? How does it feel to change focus and see your life and actions through love? It is all about taking the small steps that move us forward in big ways.
Let me know what you think, leave a comment below or email me at, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Each week I send out a conversation with my Inner Voice. This week we discuss how if we search and discover the hidden lessons in our failures, we can then turn our failures into successes. You can subscribe to my weekly email at the bottom of this page, or you can email me at the above address and I’ll sign you up.
I appreciate that you have taken the time to read my blog. I hope that this wisdom causes contemplation within your life.
Have a safe and wonderful Holiday Season.
Peace and Well-Being.
Copyright Paul Hudon 2019