I have been thinking about quitting recently. Not in quitting these conversations, but how oftentimes when we quit a relationship, or job, we get criticized for it. Then if we stay in a situation that truly doesn’t make us happy, we deny ourselves better opportunities. Why is that? I will seek the wisdom from my Inner Voice on the subject of quitting. My questions will be in italics for clarity.
There is a long history of teachings that say, do not quit, that the reward will be worth it. Yet, as you ask, why stay in a situation that truly does not allow you to thrive? If one were to quit, others judge them harshly for this action. What is the best course of action?
This conversation begins with asking, what makes you truly happy? If you are working on a project, or you are in a relationship that makes you feel tremendous joy, then why contemplate quitting? If you have a job that does not satisfy your heart and mind, then why stay? The difference between the two is that one is rooted in joy and self-satisfaction, while the other is rooted in self-denial.
When people criticize a person for quitting anything, they do so from their life experience. This is a limited view of the situation. Yet, to quit an unsatisfying job or relationship requires an understanding that life cannot go on this way. To stay in this situation, is to maintain a state of unhappiness for no loving reason.
There is common wisdom that teaches us not to quit because the rewards may be closer than we realize. What can you say about this?
There must be an understanding that one’s happiness should not be put off for an unseen gain in the future. You may never live that long. It is important to realize that if you are doing something that truly lights you up, then quitting will never enter into your mind. The joy of what you are doing will carry you through any unforeseen obstacles. These obstacles will become places of learning and growth, not roadblocks.
If you are doing something out of fear of being judged harshly by others, or, if you heart is not into it, then any obstacles will become roadblocks that will be challenging to overcome. There is a difference between the two, that only you—the person living the experience—can understand. No other person will know what is in your heart and the drive that can keep you going. If they judge you for quitting an unhealthy situation, then this is their issue to deal with, not yours.
Why is quitting seen as a failure?
The only person that knows the true, honest, reasons for quitting is the person who is quitting. What other people think about this is not of your concern. If you feel that quitting is the best option, then quit.
Remember, if the job before you, or the relationship truly ignites a desire within you, then quitting will never be an option. Resources will become available to you to see the process through. The desire to succeed will always outweigh the need to quit, if the task is true to one’s heart.
If it doesn’t make us feel truly alive, then it is worth quitting?
Absolutely. There is no need in going forward in a direction that is unsatisfying to you. Imagine the decision to stay in an unsatisfying situation, as being at a crossroad. One direction takes you further away from the true happiness you seek, while the other road guides you to the life that you have always imagined. Yet you may choose to stay the course with your unpleasant situation, because someone may judge you harshly. The true question becomes, how will you feel when you realize that you missed a chance, because you chose not to pursue your true desires.
There is no point in staying in a job, or relationship, that does not grant you true joy and happiness. Quitting an unhealthy situation will redirect your life towards what you truly desire.
You are saying that if we are not experiencing love, or true passion in our current situation, we should quit.
Yes, because then you will have taken the steps needed to find what makes your heart sing with joy. If what you are doing right now does not do this for you, then by all means quit, so you can find something better.
This is always a challenging place, stay in an unfulfilling situation, or quit to seek something better. From my own experience, I have quit jobs that were financially worthwhile, but they held no passion for me—my heart and soul were not in it. It can be a struggle at times, but which choice feels the best? Which choice lights you up with passion and true desire?
Please let me know what you think, about quitting. You can leave a comment below or email me at email@example.comI’m always open to exploring the conversation further.
Each week I send out a conversation with my Inner Voice. This week we discuss families and the lessons that only families can teach us. If you are interested in receiving this conversation, you will find a subscription box at the bottom of this page. Or, email me at the above address and I’ll add you to the list.
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Peace and Well-Being.
Copyright Paul Hudon 2020
first of all, I love your blog. It‘s so interesting what you share and I can learn a lot from it.
About quitting, I think you are right. If a situation - may it be a job, relationship, friendship, etc - doesn‘t make us happy, we should quit. Only if we quit what makes us feel bad, we can shift our lives into the right direction. Life is too short to hold on to things that we don‘t enjoy.
I have quitted several times and it always changed my life for the better. Sometimes it‘s not easy to quit, because quitting means change and change is a bit frightening. We have to leave our comfort zone and try something new – that takes a lot of courage!