I have been thinking about the word should recently. As in, I should do this, or I should do that. How many times in a day do we use the word should on ourselves, or on those in our lives? How does this word make us feel? When I use the word should is this coming from a place of love. Or is this should coming from a place of judgement? This seems like a simple word, yet why does it make me twitch when I say or hear the word should?

Maybe I should seek the guidance from my Inner Voice on the reasons why the word should causes so much discomfort. My questions will be in italics for clarity.
Why does the word, should, cause a reaction in people?

The word should, is often used as a command, telling you how to behave. It is also used as a way to change your behavior to please others. How often have you heard someone say you should do a task a certain way, only to realize that this will please them and them alone. The should  leave’s little room for leeway.There can be much judgement within the intention when the word should is spokenThis judgement may not be based on facts or what is right. The should often has more power than the truth.

It seems like every time I hear the word should, it sounds like someone is telling me what to do. Why is that?

This is their way of giving you advice. They judge you as needing their guidance, and this guidance will arrive with a should. The shouldoften pleases them, and may not be to your benefit. 

When you use the word should within yourself, you are judging yourself based on what you believe others want to see. You use the word should to please those around you. Imagine a should as a heavy weight. Each time you say should to yourself, or accept it from others, you add weight to your cart. Before too longthe load becomes too much to bear and you break under the stress. This is because you are more focused on what you should be doing, or how you should be behavingthat you are not being true to yourself. 

Why is there judgement in the word should?

When you use the word should you are judging yourself, or those in your life. Often you are using an unrealistic standard as the gauge. A should is expressing this judgement without actually using words of judgement. When you tell someone that they should accomplish a task a certain way, you are judging them as inadequate of making their own choices. The should will limit any learning they may receive from making their own decisions. 

Do people add strength to words such as should because of the negative energy associated with it?

It is easy to add negative energy to any word. Just focus negative energy on it long enough and there will be a negative association when the word is used. When the word is used with a negative intention, the word becomes a powerful force. Words can heal or harm  depending on the intention behind the word.

How can we avoid using words like should?

Learn to recognize if there is an intention of judgement in your words before they are spoken. This will allow you to change your words to ones that are more compassionate and loving. Words begin with thoughts, if your thoughts are kind and accepting, then your words will reflect these positive emotions. 
Should. Does this word make you feel comfort or not. Let me know what you think. Leave me a question, or comment below or email me at, I’m always open to expanding the conversation further. 

Each week I send out an email conversation with my Inner Voice. This week we discuss, courage vs fear. Are you living through courage or fear? Here is an excerpt from, Courage vs Fear, 

What are some of the ways we can shift our awareness away from fear to a mindset of courage?

Learning what is true and right for you is a powerful act of courage. Many people will tell you who you should be, what you should think, and how you should behave. Yet, these should's have no foundation in your truth. To look within yourself, and learn who you truly are takes courage that many people do not realize is within them. If more people were courageous enough to live their truth, there would be less should’s in life. 

To read more of Courage vs Fear, subscribe below or email me at I’ll send you a copy and add you to the list.

Thanks for taking the time to read this blog post. I appreciate your support.

My wish is for you to find peace and comfort in these times.

Peace and Well-Being

Copyright Paul Hudon 2020


  1. It is so weird, when I read your posts I feel like you are in my head. Minds are truly connected. This was such an insightful read, I noticed the same with words like should and must. They are so heavy. This is a beautiful reminder for me to refine my speech and notice those thoughts, because they are a good indicator that there is judgment in them. Thank you for sharing!

  2. That's something I am going to watch today, if and how often I use the word 'should' with myself and others. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Paul.


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