In a world that wants us to fit it, being true to ourselves can be a struggle. Each one of us is an individual with different views of the world, and these views often shape the way we experience life. Isn’t that what makes life so interesting, learning how others see the world? Why would we ask others to see the world as we do, based on our life experiences?
When I travel, I’m always meeting new people who come from faraway lands. When we talk to each other, it’s interesting to hear about their lives, and their culture. Although their life is different than mine, I can see many commonalities. It is these commonalities that unite us as one people on this little blue planet orbiting a fireball that keeps us warm and gives us life. Yet if we have so much in common, why do we ask others to change their way of life to please us, or fit into our ideas of who they should be?
My Inner Voice may have some insights into the subject of our commonalities, and asking others to fit in. My questions will be in italics for clarity.
Why do we ask others to change to fit into our beliefs of who they should be?
Asking others to change to fit into your interpretation of who they are is meant as a way for them to change to make you comfortable. You do so because on some level in your consciousness, their differences make you uneasy. If you continue to focus on asking them to change to fit in, you will miss an opportunity to benefit from the wisdom they may teach you.
Each person is unique in their thoughts, and beliefs, yet each person also has many commonalities with the other people on Earth. If you take your focus away from asking them to fit in, and concentrate on the commonalities you have, you will begin to experience the world with more unity than divisiveness. Focusing on the differences you have with others will only separate you from the common good. It is recognizing what you have in common that will benefit you and those in your world the most.
What about the people that want me to change to fit into their idea of who I should be? What can I do then?
Someone asking you to change to please them originates from a place of fear. They are not comfortable with who you are and this makes them fearful. If you change in a way that eases their uncertainty, they believe they will find happiness. When you do not change to satisfy their expectation, they remain fearful and angry. Deep with them, they may be blaming you for their unhappiness.
The best you can do for yourself, and the world is to remain true to yourself. This means that by accepting that your happiness is your responsibility, you will not be asking others to change who they are to make you happy. When you recognize the truth of who you are, you will begin to accept what you have in common with others.
How does being true to myself connect with accepting what I have in common with others?
When you are living by your truth, you will not be asking others to change who they are to please you. This is a powerful place of acceptance, because you have learned to accept yourself. You have stopped the need to judge yourself against the unrealistic standards of society. In doing so, you will no longer be asking others to change through your judgement of them, you are happy with yourself, and you no longer need others to change to make you happy. You will arrive at an emotional state of compassion that allows you to see clearly what you have in common with those you once judged as different than you.
Seeing our commonalities can seem like a challenge.
When you look at others and focus on their differences, you are judging them to make yourself feel better about yourself. The moment you accept yourself for who you truly are you will no longer have a need to judge yourself, or others. Once you release your need to judge others, will you begin to see what you have in common with the world around you.
What would be the benefits of focusing on allowing other people to be their true selves, and recognizing our commonalities?
Your judgement of others limits what you can learn from them. By focusing on what you have in common with the people in your world you will begin to see everyone as a unique individual. This will allow you the ability to focus on what you have in common, and the healthier world that this realization will create.
We are all different, yet we have so much in common.
Let me know what you think. Leave a comment, or a question, I’m always open to expanding the conversation.
Each week I send out a weekly email conversation with my Inner Voice. This week we discuss our inner voice and its importance to our well-being. Here is an excerpt.
Do all people have an inner voice?
All people have an inner voice that speaks to them through their gut feelings, intuition, and instincts. Yet it is a choice to listen for the messages, and then follow the guidance this loving voice speaks. At one time these “feelings” were survival mechanisms intended to keep all beings safe from harm. In the hustle and bustle of today’s world, these “feelings” have been overshadowed, and often ignored.
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If you would like to read more of my writing check out my monthly column in these great online magazines, Conscious Shift Magazine, consciousshiftmagazine.com, and New Spirit Journal, newspiritjournalonline.com. Two resources for spirituality, inspiration, and enlightenment.
Thank you for reading this post, I appreciate your support.
Peace and Well-Being to you and those you love.
Copyright Paul Hudon 2020