How often do we believe others when they tell us we can’t do something? Is it because we trust their opinions more than we trust ourselves? Do we think they know better than us because they have lived longer? The bigger question would be, why don’t we trust ourselves?
I remember asking someone I trusted for guidance, I followed the advice and the situation didn’t turn out like I had wanted. When I think about that experience now, I can see they were advising me based on what they knew to be true for them; not what was true for me.
It can be difficult to know what is true for us. One reason may be because we seek guidance from others so often, we don’t trust ourselves. Or if we look to ourselves for guidance, we are unsure if the voice that answers our questions is true and right. Why is it so hard to trust ourselves?
With these thoughts in mind a conversation with my Inner Voice may add some clarity to this powerful subject. My questions will be in italics.
Why is it so hard to trust ourselves?
From a young age you have been asking others for guidance because you lacked worldly knowledge. You also experienced how life could treat you harshly because of this lack of knowledge. When you asked others for guidance, you learned to see the benefit of their wisdom. As time progressed you could see when their advice kept you out of uncomfortable situations. If you acted against their advice, you may have had an unpleasurable experience. This may have cause you to realize that asking others for guidance was safer than the trial and error of trusting yourself.
How do we learn to trust ourselves?
No one knows what is true and right for you as you do, yet it may take some time to realize this. As life moves forward there will be times when you have to trust yourself in the choices you have to make. It is here where you learn if your choices were right for you. If a choice does not work out as you had planned, look for the lesson from the outcome. Each experience in your life will have a positive lesson within it. These lessons will help you grow more confident in knowing what is true for you.
It can be hard to find a positive lesson in a choice that didn’t work out well. What then?
There are many reasons why you make the choices you do. The root of your choices will be influenced by many outside forces. Each choice has two basic roots, love, or fear. As you review an experience that didn’t work out well, did you make your choice based on love, or fear? Was your choice based on your love of yourself, or the fear of disappointing others?
Many people fear failure, but within each failure you find the building blocks to success. Yet if the focus is on the failure you will not see the steps need for success. If the choice is made with a foundation of love—authentic love for oneself, not the love of power or money—then the choice will open a world of possibilities to you.
So the root of our choices should be love, and this will help us learn to trust ourselves?
Before each choice is made, even if it is a reaction to a negative comment said by others, there is a moment in time when you can choose love, or fear. The choice of love will do more for you than the choice of fear. As you learn to trust in this love, you will learn to have trust in yourself. There may be times when asking for the opinion of a close friend may be valuable, yet you can always compare their advice to the loving trust you have for yourself.
Any final thoughts on trusting ourselves?
As you learn to trust yourself, you will gain confidence in your ability to know what is true and right for you. Your confidence will grow as you begin to experience the loving guidance that is always within you.
Trusting ourselves, that’s a big one. Let me know what you think. You can leave a comment below, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org, I’m always open to expanding the conversation further.
Each week I email a conversation with my Inner Voice to those who have subscribed. This week my conversation is about self-love. Here is an excerpt.
How do we discover our self-love?
Look within yourself, and ask if your thoughts, words, or actions are rooted in love. If not then this behavior should be questioned and released from you consciousness. Throughout the course of life you have come to accept many beliefs that may not be true or authentic for you. These beliefs create your world. If you are living a life of love, kindness and compassion in every aspect of your life, then you are living a self-loving life. Be cautious because your ego will tell you, that you are doing just that, even though you may be unhappy.
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This being Thanksgiving day, I want to express my thanks to you for taking the time to read this post. My appreciation also goes to New Spirit Journal newspiritjournalonline.com, and Conscious Shift Magazine, consciousshiftmagazine.com for publishing my monthly column. I Also want to thank everyone who has supported me along this wonderful adventure called life.
I hope you and those you love have a wonderful day.
Peace and well-being
Copyright Paul Hudon 2020