Love, what a powerful word. We love our job, we love our cat, and we love our partner. Same word—love—but with very different intentions. What does love do for us? It can break our heart, it can elevate us to higher levels of emotion and it can clear the path to true happiness.
Yet how often do we confuse love with satisfying our negativity? I once heard someone say they would love to punch a guy in the face. This certainly is not love. So how do we use love as a way to step away from negativity to a place that helps us shape our lives and the world we want to be a part of? Where will this love lead us?
To understand love on a deeper level, a conversation with my Inner Voice may be helpful. My questions will be in italics for clarity.
When we think of love we naturally think of romantic love, yet there is more to love than just that.
Oftentimes the love people feel towards others is a very strong feeling of attraction. They are attracted to the other, and they receive comfort from this attraction. This sense of attraction also builds their self-worth. The issue is that if a person needs someone’s attraction to build their sense of self-worth, they are not loving themselves. When a person is truly loving themselves—this is not an ego driven love—they will not need anything outside of themselves to build their own self-worth, or self-esteem.
People often confuse love with attraction?
If a person has low self-esteem or is unaware of their self-love, the affection of another person will fill a void within them. This void is a lack of self-love. Attraction and affection can do wonders to a person’s view of themselves, but it will not replace the honesty of one’s own self-love.
How will we know the difference between true love and affection?
With true love—true self-love a person knows who they are, and they know what is true and right for them. Their self-worth and self-esteem are founded on self-love and not the need for someone to boost their identity.
Affection from another person is a wonderful thing, but when it is used to fill an emotional void within oneself it can then be emotionally harmful. True self-love is realizing the constant flow of love within one’s being. This love is consistent, everlasting, and never wavers, no matter what type of day a person is having. The love found within all people is unconditional and without exceptions.
Affection is inconsistent, conditional, and in many cases unreliable. The flow of affection can vary depending on the emotional state of the person showing their affection.
How do we discover our self-love, if we have not experienced it in the past?
There are many blocks that prevent a person from experiencing this powerful flow of love. Negative self-talk is one source of mental chatter that creates self-doubt, and low self-esteem. By silencing negative self-talk a person will begin to hear the voice of their self-love. Self-doubt is another block that hinders a person from experiencing their self-love. Negative self-talk and self-doubt feed off of each other and with time can gain enough strength to limit one’s ability to feel true self-love.
How will life change when we begin to experience our self-love?
There will be no need to ask others to continue to support you emotionally as a way of maintaining your self-worth. Your value to yourself and your happiness will be based on the level of love you have for yourself. When you expect others to maintain your positive view of yourself, and they fail, you may blame them for your unhappiness. Although you must realize, your true happiness is your responsibility.
How will our self-love impact the affection we receive from others?
The affection of others will be felt as a gift, not a need. When you receive love or affection as a gift, it is given without expectation, or condition. This is how true authentic love and affection benefits both people in the relationship.
The true love we are seeking from others will only be found within ourselves. Let me know what you think. Leave a question or comment below, I’m always open to exploring the conversation further.
I’m excited to announce the release of my book, “Your Inner Guidance, The Path to Discovering Your True Happiness.” Available through Amazon.com as an eBook and paperback. Here is a link to purchase a copy,
Each week I send a conversation with my Inner Voice to those who have subscribed to my weekly. This week we discuss the comfort of negativity. Here is an excerpt.
Why are we so comfortable in our emotional discomfort?
Often the discomfort will give people a sense of purpose, an identity. Even if this purpose is negative they can relate to it. They understand it, it does not challenge them, and many times those who surround them may be experiencing the same negativity. This will add strength and longevity to the reasons for their discomfort.
If you would like to receive my weekly scroll to the bottom of the page where you will find a place to do so.
I’m grateful to write a monthly column for two online magazines. This month, my article in New Spirit Journal is titled, “Getting Out of Our Own Way.”
While in Conscious Shift Magazine you will find my article titled, “Empowering Others.”
Check into these great resources for wisdom, spirituality, and enlightenment.
I want to thank you for being a part of this wonderful journey called life. I appreciate your support.
Peace and good health
Copyright Paul Hudon 2021