Loving Ourselves


When we learn to love ourselves, truly and deeply, without condition, judgement, or expectation, we release our need for the approval of others as a way to validate our existence. The love we seek from others can be found within us. When we arrive at this place of love, we will no longer be controlled by others, because we love ourselves enough to disregard their negative words, or actions directed toward us.

Think of the times our emotional state of being has been manipulated by the behavior of others. When we are not experiencing our true self-love their actions may cause us to see ourselves as having no value, or being less than the person we are. In a way, we allow this to happen because we are looking for love from others, who may not love themselves either.

To truly love ourselves is to be in control of what outside energy we allow into our consciousness. Just like eating healthier food because it makes us feel better, we can restrict the energy we do not want in our lives. Yet we fail to see this as a choice. We voluntarily allow negativity to influence the state of our emotional health. At times we do nothing to stop it, we take it in, it disrupts our inner peace and from there it ruins our state of mind. If we can limit the unhealthy food we eat, why can’t we restrict the negativity we allow into our awareness?

What would happen if we reached a level of self-love where our happiness was not based on the behavior of others? If we loved ourselves enough we would allow others to be themselves without them affecting our lives in a negative way. Their behavior, whether it’s good or bad has no effect on the love we have for ourselves. Our self-love becomes the foundation of who we are, and we are almost impervious to the negativity of others.

Is this a big challenge? Of course, but until we begin to heal our inner wounds through rediscovering our self-love, we will always be at the mercy of how other people speak and act toward us. Our emotional state of being hangs in the balance in the uncertainty of how others treat us. In living this way we have no control over our own happiness, it will always depend on how others react to us.

The power of our self-love far exceeds the negativity we see and hear, throughout our lives. Yet it is our responsibility to ourselves to look within and find the reasons we are unaware of this powerful source of love. Have we been asking others to shore up our self-worth by their acceptance of us? Do we believe our accomplishments represent the truth of who we are?

Accomplishments are only things we have the tenacity to finish, they do not represent the truth of our being, or our self-love. How often have we finished a task only to look around and see who has been watching? Are we seeking validation for our worth by our accomplishments? If so we will always need another thing to finish as a way to maintain our sense of self-worth.

True self-love needs nothing from the outside world for validation. We love ourselves because we love ourselves, that’s it. There are no milestones, or benchmarks to achieve before we can love ourselves, we just love ourselves. No matter how challenging life becomes, or how harshly we are treated, our self-love maintains our sense of self-worth. The words and actions of others are reflections of who they are, and our self-love is the foundation of who we are.

Each person has the ability to live a self-loving life, the challenge begins with separating the ego from the truth of who we are. Any thought, word, or action not founded in love will be supported by the ego, and these thoughts, words, and actions must be challenged and the root cause must be released from our consciousness.

To experience the truth of who we are is to return to our place of true self-love. We love ourselves enough to think, speak and act by the powerful love we have rediscovered within us. This way we live a life by our love for ourselves, without condition, judgement, or expectation.


Why is loving ourselves such a challenge? Let me know what you think. Leave a question of comment below, or email me at paulhudonauthor@gmail.com. I’m always open to exploring the conversation further.

Each week I email an article to those who have subscribed to my weekly. This week I wrote about reaching higher levels of consciousness by being more loving. Here is an excerpt.

Imagine every emotion from hate all the way to love, as levels of consciousness. The closer you are to kindness, compassion and love, the higher levels of consciousness you will experience. As you move up the scale to more positive states of being, you will realize higher levels of wisdom as well.

To read this article, or subscribe to my weekly, scroll to the bottom of the page where you will find a place to do so. Or email me at the above address and I’ll add you to the list.

 If you are interested in purchasing a copy of my book, “Your Inner Guidance, The Path to Discovering Your True Happiness” either as an eBook or paperback here is the link.


For those who would like to follow my blog, Google has implemented a new policy that has stopped automatic notifications of my latest blog posts. I’m working on a way around this, but know I post a new blog every Thursday. I apologize for any inconvenience.

I’m fortunate to write a monthly column for two online magazines. This month in New Spirit Journal you’ll find my article titled, “You Are Doing The Best You Can”


While in Conscious Shift Magazine you can find my article, “ Self-Care”


Check out these great resources for inspiration, guidance, and wisdom.

I hope you and those you love are safe and healthy. Thank you for being a part of this wonderful adventure called life, I appreciate your support.

Peace and well-being, Paul


Copyright Paul Hudon, 2021


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