The Fullness of Who We Are
How often do we behave in ways that satisfy the expectations of others? As we grow up, we are asked to please others by changing our behavior. In doing so we receive their approval. Yet we falsely believe that this approval is a sign of love. If they truly loved us they would not ask us to change who we are to please them.
This can be a tricky place, because by pleasing others we may distance ourselves from the truth of who we are. In doing so we trade our authenticity for their acceptance. Is the acceptance of others more important than our acceptance for ourselves?
Each day we have a new opportunity to live by the truth of who we are. Yet this may cause some uncertainty within us. One reason may be because we don’t have the confidence to travel this path alone. It is here where we begin to seek the guidance of those around us. Their advice may be true for them, but it may not be true for us.
If we are feeling weak emotionally their guidance may bring us comfort, although it may cause us to abandon our dreams. How will that make us feel when we arrive at a point in life and realize we lived to fulfill the expectations of others?
Much is written about living a life without regret. Is that possible if we live to fulfill the expectations of others? What about the expectations we had when we were younger about the life we wanted to live? The places we wanted to visit? Or the things we wanted to accomplish? Will we regret doing these things? Do we regret them now?
To shift our lives away from living by the expectations of others, we first have to come to a place where we accept our responsibility for the way our life will turn out. We have to realize that to be true to ourselves, we will be making decisions based on what we feel is true and right for us. In doing so, we accept that the opinions of others may be not relevant to the life we want to live.
We may get to a point where we are unsure which way to go, and the opinion of close friend may shed some light on our choices, but ultimately the choice will be ours. This is where we have to become comfortable with our choices, although this is how we learn to trust ourselves to make the right choices.
If we choose a direction that ends poorly, then it is best to search for the positive lesson in the experience. A poor choice may also reveal an emotional pattern we have carried with us throughout life. Did we make a choice based on these patterns? Are we courageous enough to examine the patterns and uncover the root reason for our behavior? If we do this inner work honestly, we may learn a valuable lesson we may not have understood if we lived a life fulfilling the expectations of others.
It takes courage to follow what we know to be true and right for us. What are the options, living in fear because we don’t know if we will fail? If we focus on failure then failure will happen. We always have two basic choices. One choice leads us down a path to a life that is unsatisfying, dull, and boring. While the other will guide us to a life full of unexpected wonders.
Yes there may be challenges and struggles, although if we keep an open heart, and stay true to ourselves, we will have the strength to move past these difficulties to a life we once thought was out of our reach.
When we look at the foundation of being true to ourselves, we will discover this foundation is rooted in love. It is a source of love that has no beginning, nor will it ever end. This is the root of our self-love.
To live to the fullness of who we are meant to be is to live a life comforted by this powerful source of love. When we choose to set aside the expectations of others, and live to the fullness of who we are, we are choosing to love ourselves. It is this love that gives us the strength to wake up each and every day and makes the choices that are true and right for us.
Can we set aside the expectations of others and live to the fullness of who we are?
Let me know what you think, I’m always open to exploring the subject further. Leave a comment or question below, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Each week I email an article to those who have subscribed to my weekly. This week I wrote about stopping self-judgement. Here is an excerpt.
When we say we should be doing better, what we are really saying is we are not good enough. Not good enough for who? Some person a thousand miles away we follow on social media, telling us how we should live? Who cares what that person thinks, all that matters is what we think of ourselves.
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I’m fortunate to write a monthly column for two online magazines. In Conscious Shift Magazine you can find my article, “All The Difference”
This month in New Spirit Journal you’ll find my article titled, “Opportunity.”
It is with much appreciation I have to thank the Publisher of New Spirit Journal, Krysta Gibson for giving me the opportunity to write for such an inspiring magazine. Krysta has been publishing in one form or another for over thirty-five years, and has decided to take a break and see what new opportunities life has to offer. I wish her and those she loves, the best in the years ahead. Thank you Krysta, for sharing the wisdom of my inner voice.
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Peace and Well-Being
Copyright Paul Hudon 2021