There is a saying that goes, “You are a combination of the five closest people you have in your life”. These people would make up your circle. When I read this, it causes me to pause and ask myself, who are the people in my circle, and how do they influence the way I move through life?
It can be easy to surround ourselves with those who agree with our point of view. Or those who choose not to challenge our behavior, even those who will support our negativity. But surrounding ourselves with those that cause us to be better people, may be a bit more challenging.
If all we want is to be around people who say yes to our every word, then where is the growth? As I look over my life, I can see times when the people around me forced me to take a good long look at my behavior. This self-evaluation initiated a few life changing habits. If I had been surrounded by “yes-men” there would not have been any reason to change.
Yet it can be difficult to re-examine our life because often where we are is comfortable. No matter where we are emotionally, physically, or spiritually, there is always room for positive growth. Although this growth can also cause hardship, because we have to find the courage to change our unhealthy habits.
One of the things that makes changing our behavior so challenging is we may upset those who are in our circle. The reason they associate with us is because they are comfortable with us. When we begin to change they may choose to leave our relationship. Let’s face it, losing friends is not something any of us want to experience. The thought of having a smaller circle may prevent us from changing the way we experience life.
Staying in a circle that does not bring us growth, does nothing for our well-being. Even though we may feel liked and admired, is there any true benefit to being around people who approve of everything we do? I would rather be alone than surround myself with those who give me a blank check to say, or do as I please.
The challenge then becomes one of accepting advice or possible criticism from those in our circle. If we trust these people to look out for our best interest, we must be willing to hear what they have to say, whether we like it or not. It takes courage for those in our circle to speak the truth to us. Yet if we trust them, we must be courageous enough to listen to what they have to say.
We have to consider ourselves as being in the circle of others as well. How do we behave? Do we just accept negative behavior, or do we encourage positive change, and give support when they seek to improve themselves? If our advice or support is rejected it may be easier to quietly walk away from the situation, than it would to maintain a one-way relationship.
The intention of having a close circle is to have friends who are willing to help us improve ourselves. Yet we can only improve if our attention is drawn to the areas of life that need improvement. The true friend is someone who shares their advice from a place of love and respect for us. If not, then their advice may come across as criticism and nothing substantial.
I like to think of it as everyone in my circle is a mentor guiding me to be the best version of myself. No one does it alone and every once in a while we may need a little nudge to get back on course. Isn’t that what having a circle of true friends is all about?
Do you have a supportive circle in your life?
Let me know what you think, I’m always open to exploring the subject further. Leave a question or comment below, or email me at email@example.com.
Each week I email an article to those who have subscribed to my weekly. This week I wrote about how asking ourselves the question, “Why?” helps us arrive at a place of emotional healing. Here is an excerpt.
The intention of this process is to find the root cause of our hesitation, doubt, or suffering, then clear it out of our consciousness. This requires courage and honesty because we can easily skirt the issue and continue to blame others for our emotional discomfort. We can also choose not to take the questioning to the depth where a true realization of the root cause of our behavior will take place, thereby prolonging our suffering, and delaying our healing.
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It is with great excitement I announce that my book, “A Complete Life, Discovering Your Authentic Self,” has been published and is now available for sale as an eBook, or paperback. Click on the link to read the first chapter, or purchase a copy. If you would like a signed copy please reach out, and I’ll get one to you.
To buy a copy of my books, “Your Inner Guidance, The Path to Discovering Your True Happiness, or “A Complete Life, Discovering Your Authentic Self,” and you live in my area, you can buy them at Salida Books in Salida, or The Book Nook in Buena Vista. Or reach out to me, and I’ll sign a copy for you.
You can also buy a copy through Amazon, as an eBook or paperback, by clicking on the link. Please feel free to leave a review.
I am grateful for all the support and encouragement I have received along the publishing journey.
I’m fortunate to write a monthly column for Conscious Shift Magazine. This month you can find my article, “Find a Void and Fill It”. Click the link to read more.
Check out Conscious Shift Magazine as a great resource for guidance and inspiration.
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Peace and Well-Being, Paul
Copyright Paul Hudon 2022
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