I’m always surprised at how upset we get when others behave in a way that doesn’t please us. Let’s take a closer look at this.
When others behave in a way that does not please us and we become angry, we are attaching our peace of mind to their behavior. This is handing them the ability to control us, because we cannot control our own reactions to their negativity.
It may sound crazy that we allow this to happen, but what have we done to stop their behavior from upsetting us? What would happen if we detached our inner peace from the reactions of others? Think of it as being so strong in our self-love, that no matter what others say or do, we can remain emotionally centered.
At times, this requires courage and inner strength, because hurtful words of anger often come from those who claim to love us. One thing to think about is the person who speaks hurtful words toward us, is at some level, lacking in their own self-love.
In essence, allowing angry words to hurt us is based on a lack of our own true self-love. Some would argue that this is not the case, but think of how we go about our day protecting ourselves from the outside world; seatbelts, helmets, grab bars in the shower, railings on stairs. I could go on and on. It seems we protect ourselves from all kinds of things in the physical world, but we choose to do nothing to protect ourselves from the inconsiderate behavior of others.
Imagine loving ourselves so much, and this love is so strong, we remain in a state of self-love no matter what others say or do. It is here where our happiness is our responsibility. When we take offense to what others say, we have opened the door to allowing their words to hurt us.
Yet, think of what we are asking others to do for us. We are asking them to always behave in a way that pleases us, because our happiness and inner peace, hinges on what they say and how they act. Now focus on our own behavior, and think of how others want us to behave in a way that maintains their inner peace and happiness. That’s asking a lot isn’t it?
Why is the solution, self-love? When we truly love ourselves we will not ask anyone to behave in a way that maintains our happiness, because our happiness is our responsibility. We then love ourselves enough to release our emotional need for others to act a certain way.
With an awareness of our true self-love, we can stay strong while others behave as they will. In our self-love we recognize that the behavior of others is an indication of what is going on within them. When we become angry at them or hurt by their words, this is a clue as to what is going on within us emotionally.
True self-love, gives us the confidence to know that we do not need others to behave in a way that boosts our self-worth, or self-esteem. We love and value ourselves enough to stay strong in the face of these hurtful actions. I’m not saying harmful words directed toward us won’t hurt us emotionally. I’m saying that we can disarm these words by the power and depth of our self-love.
As we grow our awareness of our self-love, we will stay centered when others behave poorly. From this place of emotional strength, rather than become angry, we can send them loving thoughts instead. It is in this place of strength where we realize that a person who speaks in anger is in emotional pain, and our love is the healing energy they need.
If, for some reason we fall back into the unhealthy habit of reacting out of anger, we will quickly see our behavior as harmful to ourselves and others, and then work to return to our place of balance and love. We will also understand that everyone is doing their best, and they, as well as us, may be struggling emotionally in ways we do not understand.
The secret to keeping ourselves emotionally centered is to discover our self-love. The key to understanding those who are behaving badly, is our self-love. The road to our true happiness is to follow our self-love. This way we are not asking others to behave in a way that pleases us. We love ourselves and others enough to let it go, and focus on the love found within us.
Can we look within ourselves with the intention of discovering our self-love?
Let me know what you think, I’m always open to exploring the subject further. Click on the link below, or email me at email@example.com. I’d enjoy hearing from you.
Each week I email an article to those who have subscribed to my weekly. This week I wrote about creating our reality. Here is an excerpt.
If we are honest with ourselves, we realize that every aspect of our life is the result of the choices we have made. This can be painful to accept because we would rather point the finger of blame, thereby convincing ourselves that our life is the result of what others have done to us.
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I’m excited to announce that my book, “A Complete Life, Discovering Your Authentic Self” has won a Bronze Medal in the Colorado Independent Publishers Association EVVY Awards in the Self-Help category. I appreciate the encouragement and support I have received since I began my journey as a writer.
If you would like to purchase a copy of my books, “Your Inner Guidance, The Path to Discovering Your True Happiness,” or “A Complete Life, Discovering Your Authentic Self,” and you live in my area, you can buy them at Salida Books in Salida, or The Book Nook in Buena Vista. Or reach out to me, and I’ll sign a copy for you.
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In the September issue of Conscious Shift Magazine you will find my article, “Many Roads”.
Check out Conscious Shift Magazine as a great resource for guidance and inspiration. I appreciate the continued support from publisher Tracey Kern and editor Mary Dado. Two powerhouses that encourage me to write from my heart.
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I would like to thank you for reading this article and being a part of this wonderful adventure called life. I appreciate your support.
Peace and Well-Being, Paul
Copyright Paul Hudon 2022
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