How often have we asked the question, “Why?” It seems children ask this question a lot. It’s easy to understand the question while looking at the physical world. Although when we ask that question of our inner world, the answers become a bit more complex, and often uncomfortable.
I ask this question in regards to why we keep certain thoughts active in our consciousness. Why do we hold onto anger toward those who caused us pain? Is it because we believe our anger will harm them, as their behavior did to us? Or are we waiting for an apology? Our belief is, once we get an apology we can move on, but is that always the case?
One of the techniques I continue to use during my healing process is to ask “Why?” about experiences I would like to heal within myself. For example:
I am waiting for an apology. Why?
Because I want them to admit that they hurt me. Why?
I have suffered since the painful, experience. Why?
I can’t move forward until I get an apology. Why?”
Now the answers become a bit more complicated, and if we are intent on being honest, we must answer this question truthfully. Let’s continue:
Because I am choosing to hold onto my anger thinking this is a form of revenge. Why?
My anger gives me strength, and justifies my behavior toward this person. Why?
I need anger to give me strength. Why?
I don’t love myself enough to search for my own inner strength. Why?
I believe I have no self-worth. Why?
As you can see, the more we ask why, the closer we get to uncovering the reasons for our behavior. In doing so we may soon arrive at a place where we recognize our anger no longer serves our well-being. From this awareness our healing can begin.
This method takes courage and an honest desire to move past the emotional roadblocks of our pain. Yet this technique is not limited to a past emotional trauma. We can ask “Why?” when we are hesitant to start a new project, contemplating a new location to live, or anything that causes us to doubt ourselves. We can even ask “Why?” when it comes to our self-doubt, and negative self-talk.
The intention of this process is to find the root cause of our hesitation, doubt, or suffering, then clear it out of our consciousness. This requires courage and honesty because we can easily skirt the issue and continue to blame others for our emotional discomfort. We can also choose not to take the questioning to the depth where a true realization of the root cause of our behavior will take place, thereby prolonging our suffering, and delaying our healing.
Yet if we want to move forward without the weight of past emotional pain holding us back, we must find the cause of our resistance to our healing. Although it may be challenging to ask ourselves, “Why?”, in the long term it will be one of the healthiest decisions we can make for ourselves and those around us.
When you have a moment, think of something that has been bothering you. Begin to question, “Why?” and notice where it leads, keep asking because the intention is to release the thought from your awareness, and begin the healing process. You may feel a weight lifted from your shoulders as you reveal the reasons for holding the negative thought as long as you have. This is where true healing occurs.
Are you courageous enough to ask, “Why?”
Let me know what you think. Leave a question or comment below, I’m always open to exploring the subject further.
Each week I email an article to those who have subscribed to my weekly, This week I wrote about challenges and opportunities. Here is an excerpt.
Challenges become opportunities when we take the time to step back and ask ourselves what we are meant to learn from these experiences. Within us is the inner strength to overcome our challenges. We will then benefit from the lessons we have learned.
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In the January issue of Conscious Shift Magazine you will find my article, “Service”
Can we be of service to others without sacrificing who we are?
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I would like to wish you and those you love the very best in the New Year.
Peace and Well-Being, Paul
Copyright Paul Hudon 2023