There will be those who choose to remain stuck in their bitterness and anger, too afraid to ask what is the root of this anger? Is it because they are not living the life they had once thought they would live, or life has lost any sense of true, authentic meaning? Do they go through the day following the same routine, finding comfort in the familiarity? Believing their sacrifice has been for the benefit of others?
Sacrifice is an interesting belief. Is it possible we measure our self-worth by our level of sacrifice? Do we assume the persona of victim because of our sacrifice? In this a way we try to gain approval, thereby using this approval as a prop for our false sense of worth?
How often do we use our sacrifice as the measuring stick of our love for others? Our thinking may be, “I sacrificed this much for you, so I love you this much.” Then there is an expectation of love returned as a reward for our sacrifice. If none is given it is here we become angry.
The issue with this behavior is we have allowed the lives of others to become more important than our own. We have thrown ourselves under the bus with the expectation that those we have sacrificed for will halt the bus. Although many times our sacrifice goes unnoticed and we remain under the bus waiting for recognition.
In behaving this way we fail to realize we throw ourselves there in the first place, and we have the power to can get out from under the bus at any time. Do we sacrifice ourselves as a way to gain attention? Screaming in anger, “Look what I have done for you, now love me!”
This level of anger permeates all of one’s life, yet few realize it because their anger is a part of who they are. Rather than see their lives founded in love, they are not loving themselves because they believe that sacrifice is the way to one’s true self. Self-love is not even within their consciousness, self-sacrifice is more important.
What would happen, and how would life change, if we learned to love ourselves first, and then did what we could to help those around us reach their place of self-love? We would be behaving from a place of love, and not of anger. Rather than sacrifice, we would extend our hands in an act of love, without the expectation of a reward.
Imagine living a self-loving life first before any relationship was begun. There would be little need for the expectation of a reward. We would not be sacrificing anything, because we would be taking care of ourselves first, loving ourselves first, and then helping others discover their self-love. We would reach out to help because we love ourselves enough to help others without a measuring stick in our hand. We love for the pure joy of loving. From this powerful place of love, we are no longer angry, our love is now the foundation of all of our thoughts, words, and actions.
Sacrifice becomes a thing of our past because we love ourselves enough to help others without the need for throwing ourselves under the bus, waiting for a reward. We help others for the joy of it, sharing our love for the love of it. It is here we release our anger, and begin to live a life founded on unconditional love. This is where we will discover authentic meaning in our lives.
Authentic meaning or self-sacrifice, which are you living? Let me know what you think. Leave a question or comment below. I’m always open to exploring the subject further.
Each week I email an article to those who have subscribed to my weekly. This week I wrote about how we try to control the uncontrollable as a way to find inner peace. Here is an excerpt.
As we try to control the uncontrollable, the uncontrollable controls us. In doing so, we hand our responsibility for maintaining our emotional center to the chaos of the outside world. This will never bring us any stillness, or clarity.
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I’m excited to announce my book, “A Complete Life, Discovering Your Authentic Self’ has been voted a finalist in the National Indie Excellence awards. www.indieexcellence.com
I want to thank the authors, organizers, and judges, for making this year’s competition a success. I would also like to give a big thumbs up to all those who took the risk and entered this competition. Nice work everyone!
In the latest issue of Conscious Shift Magazine you will find my article, “Handcuffs.” Do we handcuff ourselves from living the best life possible because of our limiting beliefs?
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Check out Conscious Shift Magazine, a great resource for guidance and inspiration.
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Peace and Well-Being, Paul
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