Ask For Help
Why are we so afraid to ask for help? I’m not talking about moving the couch. I’m talking about asking for help when we feel emotionally overwhelmed. Seeking this kind of help can mean the difference between life and death. I’m not being dramatic, it’s an undeniable truth.
It’s a sad state of affairs when we are too afraid to ask for help. Is it because we don’t want to burden those around us, so we bury our feelings? Why have we been taught that asking for help is a sign of weakness?
Men have learned that by asking for help they will be judged as less of a man. How confusing is that for young men and boys? Where do they turn when life becomes too much? With beliefs like that, it’s no wonder men commit suicide at a higher rate than women.
Women are not immune from judgement either. With body shaming and a society that asks women to be the CEO, housewife, fighter pilot, and daycare all in one, women have their unique challenges men may not understand. The pressure we place on each other to be something we are not may be too much to bear.
It’s a tragedy we allow people to bully those who are struggling with physical or mental health issues. Those who are barely holding on emotionally often hide their emotions so no one can see their suffering. They are too ashamed to ask for help, and too afraid of what will happen when others hear about their challenges.
At times the world can be a very insensitive place. We want people to believe as we do, if they don’t, we berate them at every opportunity. In behaving this way we are boosting our fragile ego. When we put others down we do so to make ourselves feel better about ourselves. Yet we may never know the damage we have caused before it’s too late.
If someone asks for help and they receive pushback, they are less likely to ask again. The interesting thing about asking for help is once help is denied, there is reluctance to ask again. This brings on a feeling of rejection, rejection from those who claim to be loving.
The stigma surrounding asking for help is often associated with a lack of confidence. We are not self-confident enough to ask for help, yet at times we are not confident in the ability of those we ask to help us.
It is always shocking when someone chooses to end their life. Questions arise, “Why?” Guilt surfaces, “I didn’t know they were struggling.” These questions may never be answered in a way that brings any closure. Even though people look like they have it together, on the inside they may be falling apart, hiding behind a façade.
This leads to us, you and I. What can we do to make it comfortable for people to ask for help? Can we be more loving and kind to those who love differently than we do, look differently than us, see the world from a point of view we cannot understand? Is our judgement of others so righteous we ignore the pain they may be experiencing?
We often claim to be loving, but are we? When was the last time we reached out to someone just to ask how they were? Do we encourage others to share their feelings? Have we created a safe haven for people to express themselves freely? People will only share their challenges when they know it is safe.
Why have we stopped looking out for others? Are we too absorbed in our own life that we have no time for them. What about being loving, kind, and compassionate? Have we forgotten these powerful sources of healing?
It can be frustrating for those who think they are alone, believing no one wants to hear their painful story. Yet we can be the change we want to see in the world. We can be the voice of understanding and compassion. We can open our heart to hear the words others are too afraid to speak.
It all begins with you and I. We need to create a safe place for those who are struggling to share their story without the fear of rejection. We can teach our children to respect those who appear different than us. We can open our heart with love, thereby releasing our need to judge those in pain.
Most of all, we can accept that everyone might be fighting an inner battle we may know nothing about. From this awareness we can teach those around us that bullying is unacceptable behavior. What may appear insignificant to you and I, may be catastrophic to someone who is struggling emotionally.
By choosing to be loving and kind to those around us, we can change the very fabric of our world. Creating a safe haven for people to express themselves without fear of being rejected or bullied. A haven founded on love, understanding, and compassion. This way we can share our pain and live another day.
We should not be afraid of asking for help. If you are struggling emotionally please reach out.
Call: 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Hotline. No one should go it alone.
Let me know what you think. Is it possible for you to be more understanding? Can we take the time to listen to those who feel unheard? Leave a question or comment below/ I’m always open to exploring the subject further.
Earlier this summer I had the pleasure of being a guest on Todd Fischer's Podcast, "Quest." Todd and I spoke about spirituality, intuition, and how I went from being a carpenter to becoming a spiritual author. Below you will find the Apple link, but you can also find our conversation on other podcast platforms, just search Todd Fischer Quest Podcast.
Each week I email an article to those who have subscribed to my weekly. This week I wrote about our global commonalities. Here is an excerpt.
When we break life down into its simplest forms we realize that the vast majority of people here on Earth want the same thing. We have commonalities with those on the other side of the globe, yet we choose to ignore this powerful truth. On the ground we see our differences, looking out the window of the plane, we see our oneness.
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Thank you for being a part of this wonderful adventure called life, I appreciate your support.
Peace and well-being, Paul
Copyright Paul Hudon 2023