It always surprises me how often we try to control that which cannot be controlled. We believe if we squeeze tighter we will finally gain control over the situation, but this never happens. All that ends up happening is we get frustrated or angry.
Control is a funny thing, the more we try to control the world around us, the more out of control the world appears. Rather than looking within ourselves for the reasons we seek to control the world around us, we try harder to gain control.
How long will it take before we realize we cannot control much in life. All we can do is learn to control our reactions to what is happening, then learn to let go of our desire to be in control.
One thing we can control is the thoughts wanting to achieve control. At some level we want to control the outside world because we believe in doing so, we will find a few moments of peace.
Yet as we know, the world is out of our control, thereby leaving us little opportunity to find any peace. The question becomes, why do we think we will find peace by controlling the outside world? That’s like thinking we will find stillness riding a bucking horse. It just won’t happen.
As we try to control the uncontrollable, the uncontrollable controls us. In doing so, we hand our responsibility for maintaining our emotional center to the chaos of the outside world. This will never bring us any stillness, or clarity.
The crazy thing about control is, if we want to be in control of our life we have to let go. Seems counterintuitive doesn’t it? Yet by letting go we release our need to control. We then realize all we can do is control our own thoughts and actions. By learning to control our behavior when life challenges us, we will then find peace.
The difficult aspect of letting go is we have spent much of life trying to remain in control. We can’t imagine letting go of anything. Yet by letting go of our need to control we end up free. Free from the constant struggle of trying to control the uncontrollable.
The only aspect of life we can control is how we allow the struggles of life to define who we are. We can choose to be the victim, the hero, the lover, or the villain. The choice is always in our hands. Yet when we learn to control the negativity swirling around in our head, we will be on the path to living our best life possible.
Oftentimes the things we are trying to control are the very things we need to experience on our journey to living a fulfilling life. One reason we act this way is because we are afraid of not being in control. In other words, our desire to be in control limits the way we move through life. But for some reason we accept that being in control is better than the unknown that occurs when we let go.
When I get uptight or frustrated, I take a step back and ask myself what am I trying to control. I then realize, I’m blocking better opportunities from coming into my life. My desire to control the situation is a fear based reaction to the unknown.
As we walk through life, there will be events that surprise us, scare us, and bring us great joy. None of them we can control, yet we can let go, allowing the best the world has to offer into our life.
Is it possible to take a step back to recognize the reasons we seek to control the uncontrollable? Let me know what you think. Leave a question or comment below, I always enjoy hearing from you.
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Each week I email an article to those who have subscribed to my weekly. This week I wrote about our inner conflict. Here is an excerpt.
The root cause of our inner conflict is our desire to be accepted by those who do not accept themselves. They seek to control us because they have no means to control their own mind, and the games it plays with them.
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Peace and well-being, Paul
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